Wedding Chronicles II

First of all, my apologies to my vast and diverse readership for little delay in the current post. Reason! I had no internet until 5th of June. And we all know, life is such a bitch without internet. Let us continue from where we left. Hence follow the events of day minus two.

Ramayan Paath is integral part in our family's important celebrations. So much so that Durga Poojan too starts with Ramayan Paath. I don't know how well Goddess Durga takes it. Although Ram Chrit Manas is majorly written in Hindi, but it is not in everyone to read it. On lesser occasions like birthdays, holidays or Sundays, my mother can perform the job to reasonable satisfaction levels, but weddings are really important. Experts were called in, from as close as next street to as far as next state. Experts are experts, they come with their eccentricities and microphones and loud speakers. Even for the experts, the job takes somewhere around 36-40 hrs. As the occasion demanded absolute continuity was required, and it was delivered.

While experts carried out their job with intensity and tenacity, for which they have come be known as experts, others were not sitting and watching. There were things like batna (5 times) to carry out. As one would assume, a wedding is a get-together occasion for family, extended family, relatives, relatives of relatives and also some friends. While my mother took care of religious aspects, my father tended the organizational part of it, helped by my auntie. Most of which involved putting guests into their places. Like all regular houses, our house is not designed for such a deluge of mankind. With some tact and reason, all were given a place to lay. Well! Not all. I had this notion that in a wedding, bridegroom is one of the most important persons, if not the most important. But no, what I had were mere assumptions, not based on any kind of scientific findings. My dear friends, such baseless assumptions leads to downfall. So was my case. After a long day, in which I was subjected to various ordeals by pundit ji, and chores from which I was exempt from, I found out, in their great scheme of things my father and my loving auntie has fixed my resting place to the hall where Ramayan experts were soldering on. On top of that, there were no pillows. Dynamics of demand and supply and fruits the efforts of early birds bring around are very well known. But its not in habit of jawan to fret about a comfy bed or a pillow or lights burning in eyes or loud speakers, neither did I.

Ramayan Paath: Recitation of Ram Chrit Manas, in part or whole
Batna: Bridegroom is applied a paste of turmeric, gram-flour, mustard-oil and some other stuff, by sisters and sister-in-laws and other females. It is supposed to make one fairer, if it is rubbed on one's skin thoroughly. Sisters and sister-in-laws do take it very seriously.
pundit ji The most important person in the whole ceremony, contrary to the popular beliefs. My relation with him went a full cricle, from resistance to truce, from truce to total defeat and from hatred of lost soldier to total admiration.

Wedding Chronicles

A great deal of literature has been written about the institution of marriage. The topic has been, and still is, a matter of continual research amongst social analysts, movie-makers, gloss magazines, graduate students and not to forget Oprah Winfery. But we hear much less, almost nothing about the big ceremony itself. I must mention a recent post by one of my friends, whose keen observation powers are second only to Isaac Newton watching the fall of apple, has made an invaluable contribution. In our lifetime we get more than one opportunity to attend wedding ceremonies (numbers may vary depending one's KVS-Gedwal factor. I always had happy opinions about these eternal unions, until I went through my own. Its no regular dress up, dance and photo sessions followed by free-food and back to warmth of one's sack thing. Well, for everyone else it still is, just not for the bridegroom.

Let us begin from the very beginning. My grandmother used to tell me stories about days when weddings lasted 3-4 days. Those days might have been pushed away from the social scene as an era gone by, but they do come back to haunt you privately atleast once. My dear friends, trust me, weddings still last 3-4 days, and painfully so. No wonder divorce rates are so low among Hindus. No sane person would want go through that kind of ordeal twice. I am a Hindu with lot of pride for the great traditions and all that. But when it comes to weddings, I must admit we got the worst deal of all. Even atheists beat us hands down. In the following few posts I will do my best to provide the reader with honest and down-to-every-detail memoirs of the proceedings of the occasion I remember as my wedding ceremony.

KVS-Gedwal factor was independently evaluated by Mr. KVS and Mr. Gedwal, hence the name. The topic deserves independent review with some joint effort, and is beyond the scope current work.

Humans are peaceful and benevolent by nature

We have beeen killing each other no one knows since when. The list here is certainly not exhaustive

• 17^th and 18^th century: Spanish and Portuguese, wiped out natives from South-America, killing nearly 150 million Incas and others in the process. Much of the work was carried out using axes and hatchets. Americans, British and French join the party and add 50 million of their own [1]
  

• Americans took the trend to next century, North-America is free of natives at a price of $1/Indian head

• Germans under Hitler butchered 6 million (mostly Jews) in 5-6 years. Japaneses ransacked Korea and China, 35,000 were killed in Nanking only.
  

• 6^th and 9^th Aug, 1945, Hiroshima and Nagasaki

• Tutsi-Hutu riots flare up in Rwanda, Hutu kill some 800,000 Tutsi, taking out a big proportion of the Tutsi population, later Tutsi make scales even by butchering 200,000 Hutu [2], taking the tally close to (or past) 1 million

• Self-proclaimed non-violent Indians joins the ranks, and murder 10 million unborn girls, in a never seen before, kind of ethnic cleansing

None of them died in a battle. They were helpless people, without any kind of protection, most notebaly the unborn babies. Some of them are remembered, others are not. Remembrance is not because of some sudden flash of regret or repentance. Mostly because tables were turned and victims got the chance to write log books.

References:
[1] : The Barbarian Invasions, the Movie
[2] : Could not find reference for this, but I will put in one soon

Intel (no more) Inside

What happens when MBAs take over from engineers?
With sincere apologies to my MBA friends, you have no idea which way earth is spinning, and you imagine you can organize a clone war. Because of you, Intel at top of the marketing food chain, pops up a crappy "leap ahead" campaign, in place of something like "Intel Inside". It is not disappointing, it is nauseatic. "Leap Ahead !", give me a break. You even had to take away the dropped "e". I am not a big Intel fan. They make good processors and they make bad processors along with lot of good money. But Intel Inside was cool. Alright, nothing goes on forever. But Leap Ahead? Its not just unimaginative, it is impossibly unimaginative. Sometime I wonder why you guys pay insane amounts of money to business schools. I haven't seen anything good coming out of them. So much trouble to learn MS Excel. Bad education apart, how can someone be so braindead. Leap Ahead! gosh !!

I assume Something like this might have happened:

Mr. H is head of human resources. Mr. H is having tough time justifying his big paycheque. Being an HR head is a tough job too. One has to pass those 8 hours minute by minute. So Mr H comes up with this brilliant idea of new campaign and new company logo. Great idea indeed. Not only it will keep him busy for few months, he will have a sense of accomplishment too.

Mr. M is chief of Marketing and Sales. He has a tough job too. His returns are not expanding. When 90% of the world already has P4, and P5 is not coming out any soon (damn, these stupid engineers), doubling sales this year seems impossible. Idea of new outlook seems quite promising to Mr. M too. Mr. M agrees with Mr. H and facelift is ordered.

Mr. E is there too, He leads engineering. He is under tremendous pressure to cook up something, so that people who just bought HT, might be convinced again to upgrade it, for $10,000. But dual-core wasn't convincing enough. He too needs an escape route. Logo must be easier than P5, thinks Mr. E.

Mr. F from finance is sure about his running the house. He has rather unamusing attitude about petty things like campaigns and logos. But if he lets all those lesser morons decide anything, company is going to be in deep shit and he'll have to live with guilty-feeling for his inactions, for rest of his life. Mr. F, despite being very busy, as he works 24/7, squeezes in sometime for new venture.

But problem is, Mr. F doesn't like Mr. M. While Mr. H is not so bad with Mr. F but has huge complications with Mr. M and Mr. E. Mr. E is bitter with life, in general. He has complains about never getting what he deserves. But its time to bury the hatchet for the sake of company. After a month long brain-storming, they are sitting in conference room. No one is satisfied with others idea. Mr. E thinks quanta pro is great, but Mr. H knows its not E's turn this time. Mr. H presented what his wife suggested, but everyone inside the room (and outside as well) knows that. Its a stalemate, as everyone wields a veto. Pops up Mr. BG. He has majority voting rights. Mr. BG is man of simple tastes, has always maintained that dropped "e" was gaudy and inside was obscene. Mr. BG's has a lifelong unfulfilled desire too. He had presented leap ahead as slogan, for his primary school football team, which teacher decided was lame. This was his chance to prove her wrong. Mr. E thinks its lame too, but its not his choice this time.

The Syrian Bride

Being a movie fan is a tough job. Which movie to go for which not, is a difficult question. Method of elimination comes handy, but its expensive. Then there is availability. Not many theatres have to guts to show independent movies. Luckily I found this one. This is an old style theatre where you have to stand outside in freezing cold till very minutes before the show commences. They have very few seats too. But the end result was well rewarding.

I find independent movies, generally shot at actual locations, without studios and animations more captivating than King Kongs and Starwars. I like those too. The Syrian bride is set in Golan Heights, which is claimed by both Israel and Syria. As the name suggests movie is about a wedding. The bride is marrying a TV star in Syria. Since Golan heights is controlled by Israel, the bride will have to cross the border and none of her family members can. Imagery is fantastic. Golan Heights is certainly a very beautiful place.

Beauty of the direction is that, it never stops telling the story, though not always with words. Political loyalties (willing/unwilling), social obligations, unfair influences exerted by village elders, helplessness of UN, insensitive beaurocracy, struggle of fair sex, its all there but told subtly, very subtly. The movie remains like an observer, never taking sides or passing judgments. It manages to be funny at times.

There is a bit of drama towards the end (1-2 minutes where son saves the father), but I can live with it. I recommend it hugely.

images courtsey of:
1. http://www.syrianbride.com/english.html
2. http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4511808

My friend the fanatic

"New York City is amazing" I have heard this quote from R more than one time, sometimes more than one time on same day. I am more than amazed, why and how?
I am a rather unsophisticated, un-urbane, unimpressed by grandeur of towering concrete structures person. My lack of appreciation for beauty for the Capital of the World may be attributed to underdeveloped urban aesthetic senses, but I personally refuse that accusation.
R raves so much about, city's diverse community. For all the cosmopolitanism, R doesn't have a single Black, Latin or Chinese friend. In fact he is rather afraid of going to localities which are pre-dominantly non-white. I agree with R that city has some million ethnic eateries. But R will agree with me more that he has been to very few, that too around village area where he lives.
R has been to only one Broadway show, signature of the city. And we both know that show was not the motivation. It was rather the free flowing booze which preceded the show. There are some theatres show independent movies. R did not know that they exist, till very recently.
I think for these and many other reasons, R's needs could be more than supplied in any city in midwest, but R disagrees. Why? I will never understand. We both agree on that. I guess no one can argue faith.

Guys don't buy umbrellas

Me and my roommate has this nice ritual of exchanging, "have a nice day", each morning before we leave for work. But today she said, "stay dry". It was raining outside and I didn't have an umbrella. There is something about guys and umbrellas. We somehow just don't stick. Its not that I have never bought umbrellas. I have lost more of them than I have bought. Obviously rest belonged to the others.

Rain is not something new to me. I have lived 4 years in a place called Silchar. In there, it rains sometime, its rains lot more and then it does not rain a few times. In a nut shell, it pours. Of those 4 years I had an umbrella for about 6 months, notcontinuouslys. In Silchar if youdon'tt have an umbrella, you literally have two choices in life. Slug it out (get wet) or live it out (wait till the rain is over). Most of us belonged to the later school. Time is never something you are short at, when you live in Silchar. So rain was just another opportunity to have some more tea and little more friendly discussions, sometime about Parveenpoon Tarang, often about answers to more imminent problems the world was facing.

But today I was not in Silchar, I was in New York. Living it out was not the easiest of choices. It was raining like its going to get me finally. But 4 years of Silchar in a man are huge. They won't let you fail in dire circumstances. Right across the street where I was holding my head high against the downpour, a shop sells umbrellas. I admit I was tempted. But there is no glory in giving up, letting go, compromising. Afterall glory is what a man lives for. That thought kept me going, when all others had ceded to the invasion of condensed moisture. I am proud , once again for my fellow warriors, I stood the ground.

Google and Me

Google was the best thing to happen to me as an engineering graduate student. Many of my friends shared the opinion, even if they didn't share my background. I have lot of respect for Matlab too, but gratitude towards Google is unmatched (or was till recently). If I ever had chance to thank anyone for my diplomas, thesis or publications (coming soon I hope), a la Oscar acceptance speech, it would be Google, Dr. Patra (my advisor), god and my labmates, in that order.

But something else happened to me, during my struggle of staying afloat in grad school. I fell in love with Linux. I thought that's the way an operating system ought to be. Not that I know a lot of it, but its fun (most of the times). It was also a great insult in the face of MS Windows, the hatred for which is plainly from being in techie fraternity, nothing personal. Google was also standing in the face of Microsoft, causing itches to the very symbol of capitalism. I thought Linux and Google made a perfect match. I didn't have any strong reasons for the existence of the proposed love affair. I guess we like the nice guys to end up together, and victorious.

I was soon using gmail, google maps, google local search. It worked fine on Mozilla and Firefox, and life seemed wonderful. Then came Google desktop search. It was only made for windows. They promised to release it for other platforms soon. The promise was a consolation. And I reasoned to myself, a that Linux user hardly needs it, we have 'locate', 'find' and 'grep'. But then came, google talk, google earth, google videos etc. Again exclusively for Windows, with similar carrot for other platform users. This time it looks like an apology for lack of competence. I am so disappointed. They actually belongs to the other side. I have lost faith in them.

Alas the reckoning has come too late. I am so addicted to using gmail and other stuff. Even this blog site belongs to them. I will incessantly suffer form guilty conscious of being accomplice to the cahoots, pushing consumerism to greater heights (or depths?). I can replace Windows with Linux, or Intel with AMD, but with what I am going to replace Google? Yahoo are more or less useless. Wikipedia was promising, but they have succumbed to Google too. I think their own search was cool. I wish someone one comes up with something new and better, with whom I can ally in kicking their giant butt.

Pains of Wisdom

I made a small check in the google, if someone has already used that title. Few top hits were related to, wisdom teeth. How appropriate! Really painful and there to stay (unless you take extreme measures) . Similar is the pain of being surrounded by wise. You live in a constant fear of being snapped and corrected in the middle of a doctor - doctor joke, which you thought was funny and deserved to be shared, in the true socialist spirit. Its not funny.
General awareness is not my strong point, it never has been. But now, it seems like a horrendous sin, I committed by not reading all the newspapers. Even the ones published before I was born. "How come you don't know about that? It was all over the Swedish papers" or "How can you not like it? It was a David Lynch movie".
It sometimes seems standards of intellect has been designed to deem me a misfit. Or mother nature is playing foul. I always end up around people who have apparently, figured out everything. And since I have not, and possibly will never, I feel myself to be a wise-man's burden. I just don't like it. Afterall I am too entitled to some human rights. To match wits, (nah! That would be going too far), to gain some respect of my wise friends, I have come up with my own recipe of intellactualism. If someone needs, here it is:

-- always listen to Pink Floyd and The Doors. If you don't understand what they are singing, google is there with the lyrics. Make sure you read about the band members from numerous fan-sites. So the occasion arises, you have a thing or two to add in the ongoing high quality conversation.

-- read Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Well, atleast read about him. Again the google comes handy. Come on! The guy is a noble laureate. Purchase works of John Keats. If you don't know who he is look-up google.

-- watch David Lynch movies. Kiarostami , Makhmalbuf, Kurosawa or Kieslowsky will be even better. Entertainment may be hard to come, but shove upwards in the intellectual circle is guaranteed. Pick finer (?) points, like some particular camera angle, so you can recognize the genius of director/actor. Picking up mistakes will go a long way in establishing your genius.

-- propose solutions to crumbling world economy. As long as you are not policy maker, its not going to kill anyone. Ofcourse you have the right to assert, your right to opinion, even if its borrowed. Its more important to be fashionably wrong than being original and have no opinion.

What's so good about Charlie's Angles

I mean not just Charlie's Angles, but every other pop-corn movie that is normally released in summer. Mr. & Mrs. Smith is the latest one in the series. I would not say genre, because some of my friends will come at me with all the ingredients required to define and employ the the dreaded word, some of them with definitive etymology. Such is the pain of being surrounded by wise. So I accepting my ignorance in advance, shall stay away from making qualified statements.

Why I like Charlie's Angles? Its fun. I walk in with very low (read non-existent) expectations and I walk-out happy and delighted. Walk-in is just a metaphor here. Most of the time I watch them for free from the public library. I am not a first-day-first-show kind of person. I am not even fourth-week-nothing-better-todo-sunday-show kind of a person. Actually, I am not a cinema person. DVD-era is a bliss, even if I heavily depend on our 10 buck VCR. Our because it was acquired in partnership and though I did not make any capital investments, yet I spent lot of time managing it.

By the time DVD (and VHS) is released, much has been said about the movie. And by the time our library gets it, almost everyone in the civilized world has already watched it or has decided to stay away from it. That is my time to go for the kill . It might sound like scavenging but trust me its not. It has lost none of its flavor.

Let us not digress. The best thing about Charlie's Angles is, it never disappoints you. Have you ever taken an opinion poll with choices like (i) agree, (ii) disagree and (iii) no opinion. I am always amazed (and disappointed) that some people actually voted for the third choice. I like Charlie's Angles because the don't have an opinion and they do not take the vote. Actually thats very smart thing to do. I call it conscious abstinence, but let us not digress again. Charlie's Angles always have chic moments. And some hilariously bad one's. When the bad guy shoots at Dylan, the bullet moves very slow. It had moved only a couple of inches from the barrel and bad had guy has already blinked and changed few face expressions. She could surely dodge such a slow bullet (she did). For pure academic reasons, I think they should show wake of the bullet than shock-waves around it, whenever using slow motions.

The chics always very tight suits. Its not breathtaking (can be for the chics who wear them), but its feel-good. Angelina Jolie might have an Oscar for Girl Interrupted, but she looked much better in Tomb Raider and Mr. & Mrs. Smith. They have lots of (raunchy, which is better than slapstick) humor . They always (can I put that in capitals) have well resolved climaxes. No mystery is left for the audience to trouble. Bad guys are killed, good guys and gals get married, all the secret files are back in safe, the nuclear bombs are secured and world saved, once again. Everything is so cool.

If we take a look at more serious flicks, which many of my friends vouch for. They leave a lot of unanswered questions behind. Was it true? Which side of truth it was? Is there some more untold truth? Was it how director interpreted the truth? Most of the Abbas Kiarostami movies are that way. I don't mean they are unintelligible, undecipherable or boring. I have lot of respect for the guy. But these movies are like heat sinks. They consume lot of energy. I don't remember the last time I walked-out (metaphor again) fresh from a Kiarostami flick.

All I remember is "Good Morning Angles" and very delightful time later.

A Summer Day

Finally its summer. Actually its been summer for a while now but no one actually realised. Afterall summer is all about shorts, sandles and outdoors not a part of the year spread both sides around June. It was snowing till end of April and threatening to snow till last week. Thankfully its normal now. We are getting plenty sunshine.
This might be my last summer, as in summer. I graduated and probably will be working for next 30 years. I said, might, coz I may get bored of working and came back to school, once again. But this time adds are little odd. Once you start working all you can appreciate about summer is, not having to fight the snow monster. Three months shrink to 3 days (Mamorial day weekend). Thats a terrible bargain. All the campsites in world are already booked, there are more automobiles on the road than you would normally find. Its hardly realxing and laid back, as is feeling of the summer.
Well thats probably next year. Right now I am feeling terrilbly lazy. I look outside my lab window, its beautiful sunshine. Everytime I look outside, I am tempted to go out to star-bucks, get some tea and laze aorund. I wish I had some dough on me. Even the pay day is next week. I think these morons have made enough money on me already. Once in a while, on a day like this, they can give me a cup of tree for free. I think its worth a try.