In the service of Customer, the king

"We wanted to provide one more opportunity for moviegoers to experience it on the big screen as it was meant to be seen," said Dan Fellman, president of Warner Brothers' domestic distribution in the US.

--BBC

Obviously Warner Bothers are filled with concerns for the passionate moviegoers. Why else would they go through all the pain of re-releasing a movie which most of moviegoers have already seen, (some of us more than once)?

This is why,

Batman film The Dark Knight is to be re-released in US cinemas in January, upping its chances of its box-office takings crossing the $1 billion mark.

-- Same Story on BBC

US Elections: An Alien's View

Americans are going to elect leader of the free-world in few days. It is not very clear to me, why only Americans? I would like to consider myself a citizen of the free-world. But there exists a great deal of confusion over its boundaries. Some experts believe India to be a part of the free-world, while others do not. My ambivalence over my status however is not an obstacle to my keen and scholarly interest in unfolding events. Who knows one day things become clear and we end up on the right side of freedom. I want to be ready.

Every four years, future of the human civilization hangs in balance. The middle class families who are struggling to put their kids in college, nurses, teachers, firefighters and plumbers, especially plumbers from Ohio and Florida must ponder over the future of humanity. They are the keepers of the way of life. They must choose between baby-killer communists, who can put safety of the country, by extension the free-world at risk, but at the same time can put bread on table and medicine in bottle; and warmongering zealots, who work for corporations but can also guarantee the freedoms granted by the constitution and founding fathers. Does anyone know what those freedoms really are? A huge burden indeed for a plumber.

Regardless of all these superficial ideological differences, these middle class families who are struggling to put their kids in collage, nurses, teachers, firefighters and plumbers, especially plumbers know precisely what qualifications a presidential candidate must have. As a keen and scholarly observer I have tried to list them for future citizens of the free-world.

A presidential candidate:

• Must look presidential. I still don't clearly understand the presidential look but I'll get there.
  
• Must not be fat. It is acceptable if he can run a 5K, but not a marathon runner. Scoring a three-pointer almost landed Obama into suspicions of being overly athletic.
  
  
• Must be church going and good christian. But he should not be a every Sunday regular. That is bordering religious fundamentalism.
  
  
• Must be knowledgeable but not scholarly. A PhD is a definite rejection. Scholars are out of touch old-farts who don't know anything about the problems of hard-working middle class families who are struggling to send their kids to college.
  
  
• Must love baseball, but should come from a place with losing team.
  
  
• Must distinguish between the Wall street and the main street. I think that is the easiest of all. Wall street is where all the greedy people work and main street is where all the honest, hard-working Americans, who don't want to pay taxes, work.
  
  
• Must not raise taxes. Can a candidate taxes? I don't think he can, but I'll double check.
  
  
• Sarah Palin has raised the bar by adding "six-pack" to the list. I am still trying to figure out whether she was talking about beer or abdominal muscles. Given the appalling quality of American beer, I'm leaning towards abdominal muscles.
  

However the presidents themselves are exempt from all the above listed requirements.

Salmon for lunch

 

Saturday afternoons can be boring. After few phone calls ennui sets in. There is work to be done, but it can wait few more hours. There is nothing in the fridge, almost nothing. A nice and fresh cup of coffee is what I need. But what about the food. Definitely need to eat something. So here is an easy recipe for lazy bums stranded in boredom and hunger. I assume you have some frozen salmon, Cajun seasoning and rice at hand.

Thaw frozen salmon fillets to room temperature. Rub some Cajun seasoning and let it sit while capsicum are cooking. Fry cut capsicum on a low flame till it's tender. Add some salt and pepper and cook some more. Take out capsicum and put it on the plate. In the same pan, add some butter ( or oil ) and shallow fry salmon fillets, turning them on sides, till they are dark. That is it. As the picture suggests, serve with some rice and a 2-3 fresh cups for coffee. If you need directions to prepare rice and coffee, I suggest don't try this recipe. Ask someone generous enough to do it for you.

End of elitism?

While procrastinating I came across this piece about some poor guy who got virtually mobbed for writing undesirable lines about "the Dark Knight". I do feel bad for the victim for getting some rough treatment. He wrote a rebuttal, which probably didn't change any opinion, but hopefully soothed some of his ruffled feathers. I recognize his right to freedom of speech. I also respect his prowesses to get considerable space in NY Times, twice. I liked the first edition, Batman Begins, but I can't say I'm a fan. Thus I certainly have no reservations to his unpopular critique. What stimulated me to pick-up the pen metaphorically speaking, yet another metaphor, was his faith in eternity and usefulness of his profession. While it is certainly not an undesirable trait to have, but the one which can blind you from the brutal realities of the harsh unforgiving world.

I do not accept the assertion that spread of internet has given rise to semi-literate, rowdy bunch with the mob mentality. They always existed, it has just given them a voice. So far it has been a one-way street. Roger Ebert will write something in Chicago Sun Time and move on with his life. It did not matter if readers accepted his dissection of the movie. It was cumbersome to express the dissent. It is not just about film critics; book reviewers, sports columnists and political commentators also join the list. With no apparent dissent, the preferences of elite became the standards to which every movie, book or any other work of art must live up to. So much that critics became celebrated artists and their opinions, the work of art. Rise of internet has democratized the process. People are not only choosing the opinion they like, they are openly disagreeing and expressing their own. Suddenly revered critics are finding that the last word is not theirs'. It is definitely a painfully awakening, more so when it comes with a promise of reducing the rare to common.

The problem with opinions is, they can not be cast into mathematical equations. Hence it can't be proved that right one exists, even with some audacious assumptions. Unless one is a judge in the Supreme Court, one's opinion is hardly enforceable. I too have my own opinions about arts, sports and life in general. So long I have differed with pre-mid-post game analysis of Harasha Bhogle and Peter Shilton. Theoretically one can ignore rants of the chosen few and go about one's merry life. But then how can one ignore the matters which are so close one's heart. There is not enough in world one can get of them. To this very day, I look at every sort of explanation on why Roberto Baggio missed the penalty in USA'94 final. Nothing for me has demystified yet, what happened to mighty Indian batting lineup in 2003 World Cup final. I read anything that remotely concerns such events, historic if I may call them. It doesn't matter if it was written by a bald man or the god himself. I always had the mechanics to tell former, how badly his opinion sucked. Internet has provided me a way to tell latter, the same.

An uncomfortable visit

"How would you like it?", she asks.

"Short", I said.

"Anything I'll do is going to make them short". You can tell she had a sense of humor. "So tell me, how you want it?", she was persistent nevertheless.

"Can you cut them from sides and take off little bit from the top?", I made a valiant effort.

"What?", she was clearly not satisfied.

"Do whatever you like".

"Ok! I can do that", she finally relented. I am sure she would have enjoyed my misery longer, but in the battle of pleasure to humiliate versus tip, money had the final say.

This was the brief conversation I had with a girl at Aveda Institute, who was going to cut my hair. I am a reasonably neat guy. I have visited barber shops quite regularly for the past 30 years, yet I find the question of how I want my haircut, extremely difficult one to answer.

Back in India life was so good. The barber would ask the question dutifully yet nonchalantly. I'd confidently shoot back "short". That would settle everything. The guy would proceed to do, what was required to be done. If there existed some degree of familiarity among both the parties, formalities were often dropped. Good old days when barbers were barbers, gentle and understanding. My geographical shift to west and coincidental rise of customer is the king philosophers, things will never be the same. One can no more ignore the important questions like how they want it.

If I am so uneducated in the matters of hair, why would I go to MIT of haircutting? Why not choose something more appropriate? That is a question every intelligent reader would like to ask. This time I can conveniently point finger towards my wife. Her unwavering faith in my latent beauty is only matched by my father's confidence in my uselessness. Such high expectations usually lead to disappointments.